Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
