did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
