i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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