Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
