Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
