After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
