What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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