New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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