Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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