real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
