i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just had sex on a roof
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
