Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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(213): she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down. http://tfl.nu/is1d

Replies (1) Good night (1610) Bad night (640)
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(310): View more from California

Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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(310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw

Replies (14) Good night (3976) Bad night (642)
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(319): View more from Iowa

he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.

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(319): he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit. http://tfl.nu/9uu5

Replies (8) Good night (3138) Bad night (825)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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(618): Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman. http://tfl.nu/awok

Replies (12) Good night (2524) Bad night (853)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i used baking grease as lip gloss

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(978): i used baking grease as lip gloss http://tfl.nu/a8ny

Replies (18) Good night (614) Bad night (5491)
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(404): View more from Georgia

She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

(678): View more from Georgia

So... What happend then?

(404): View more from Georgia

We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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(404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62

Replies (49) Good night (11341) Bad night (2610)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview

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(731): i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview http://tfl.nu/woj8

Replies (22) Good night (3967) Bad night (1288)
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(573): View more from Missouri

ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.

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(573): ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME. http://tfl.nu/9twm

Replies (4) Good night (1669) Bad night (835)
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(254): View more from Texas

Are we hungover?

(713): View more from Texas

I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.

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(254): Are we hungover? (713): I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it. http://tfl.nu/8xx2

Replies (5) Good night (2015) Bad night (683)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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(617): I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed! http://tfl.nu/vwkc

Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (843)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.

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(520): Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/speg

Replies (11) Good night (1106) Bad night (491)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.

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(317): I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing. (1-317): As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you. http://tfl.nu/0owh

Replies (5) Good night (1390) Bad night (436)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.

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(717): There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing. http://tfl.nu/cfbw

Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (353)
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(914): View more from New York

So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..

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(914): So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me.. http://tfl.nu/9pe5

Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (296)
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(407): View more from Florida

Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.

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(407): Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away. http://tfl.nu/1xai

Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (191)

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