Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A Penis?

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  (610): Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me. (1-610): A Penis? http://tfl.nu/aerv
  Replies (50) Good night (3446) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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  (314): eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/8d45
  Replies (26) Good night (862) Bad night (4573) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

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  (918): the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/e8cz
  Replies (61) Good night (5655) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

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  (612): Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now. http://tfl.nu/y7cf
  Replies (35) Good night (4011) Bad night (1584) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

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  (661): I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka. http://tfl.nu/da8y
  Replies (12) Good night (4234) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy

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  (973): Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy http://tfl.nu/3461
  Replies (5) Good night (2613) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...

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  (317): she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart... http://tfl.nu/ywxy
  Replies (8) Good night (2665) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.

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  (423): pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards. http://tfl.nu/9pdc
  Replies (10) Good night (3394) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5367) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol

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  (320): I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol http://tfl.nu/5ctw
  Replies (13) Good night (2332) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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  (302): seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one. http://tfl.nu/f1ae
  Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1580) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3215) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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  (519): If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving. http://tfl.nu/lmm0
  Replies (10) Good night (998) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (+79): View more from

  Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.

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  (+79): Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled. http://tfl.nu/hu4k
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (252)

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