Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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