Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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