Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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