We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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