All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
