I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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