He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
