Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
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Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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