I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Its about making memories worth repressing
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
