after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
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I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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