Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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