You just made me feel so damn special
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
