Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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