She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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