while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
