i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Rumble strips road head = magical
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
