just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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