Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
