I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i love accidental penises.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The Olympian is in my bed
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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