so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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