It's like God shit irony all over that family
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
