Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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