things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
