I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
