Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
