So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
