It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
