u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he was CRYING into my vagina
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
