We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize