dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
