Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
