Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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