and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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