we made out on top of his cat.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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