I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize