Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
