gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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