I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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