You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
