The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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