We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
