i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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