You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
