There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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