You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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