so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
